Untrusted

I feel disconnected. Disconnected from the people I thought loved me. I feel like they have pulled me out of our friendship, like a phone charger, and now there’s only so long before I'm going to shut down with the pain.

We all have friendships that change; we all have experienced the loss of a friend. There is only one thing worse than this. That’s thinking that they loved you only to find out that they don’t, that you where the one doing the loving not them.

I always thought of myself as a “people pleaser”; I always thought I did that job quite well, apparently not, apparently it’s hard to please people, but I didn’t realise that until I found out the hard way. I found out slowly then all at once, I also seem to have lost all my friends slowly, then all at once. People always say that patience fixes things, but I have been patient and nothing has changed, all that’s changed is that I have become less trusting of people that I once trusted. People that I loved; now I can’t. How can I trust and love people, if all around me people are falling because of my trust. Trust is not an object it’s a rare object best viewed in a museum with a “Do not touch”, sign; “it will do you more harm than good”. I'm not saying trust is bad; just don’t put your trust in the wrong people, only trust the people you really can trust.

That’s where I went wrong; I trusted the people I was told not to trust by the people I do trust. It is a mistake I shall never make again, one I don’t want to make again; and make sure you don’t make it.

Hello, hope you liked that, I just really needed to get that out, and tell someone, so I thought I would tell you, so I can help both of us. Anyway, hope you all have a fabby weekend.

Octavia xxx